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Freeing Her Inner Baby Girl

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Tie Me Up and Let Me FLY!!!!
Posted:Mar 25, 2017 2:40 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2017 12:48 pm
1959 Views





Last night I journey to a BDSM Club with some friends - one of my girlfriends who is becoming a close friend, and a mutual male Dom friend, from my local BDSM community. I am normally one who will watch and talk and not participate much in a public scene. I enjoy watching, a lot.

I know my PTSD is an issue for me, so all day I prepped myself to be out in public by relaxing, meditating, i even took a long bath, shaved my legs and did a gently body scrub. I wore a black dress there, but upon arriving in the club, removed my bra and then had my GF help lace and pull tightly my black under bust steel boned corset.

I am very self conscience about my scars from surgeries on my torso and tummy, and the fact I have gained a lot of wait in my tummy - mostly from steroids ( seriously, 30+ MG a day regimen is going to make a person gain fat!), various pain killers and meds to help me breathe when allergens attack. I have an hourglass shape, it is just bigger than what I feel comfortable, and I do work on exercise and diet with a team of doctors and physical therapists.

We went into the dungeon, I love the sign there


"Warning:
Naked People beyond this door
Screaming may be heard
but they like it"


makes me laugh every time I open the door.

I like to take it all in, observe how other interact. I do silently smirk and smile at some of the posturing of a few Dominants - you know what I mean if you have been to clubs. But overall, the scene is a lot of fun.

I watched my friends scene together and with others who arrived whom they knew and I met. Then a while later two more girlfriends show up - a rigger and a rope bunny. I love watching this rigger play, have watched her progress over the last year, not that she does not have skills now, but you can tell if she keeps at it, she will be in great demand.

So I watched them do a scene, I was given privy to their pre-scene negotiations and what was going to be done. I loved watching how she tied and secured. the look on the bunny's face. Then she was hoisted up, up, up.. and could fly. I scurried over to one end and mocked slapping hands above my head as she swung back and forth. It was sheer bliss watching.

I then talked with a well known rigger at the club who works with bigger girls, and I said how i would like to be suspended and have my photo taken. He told me we could talk a while and then make plans to have a scene during picture night on one of the Fridays.

Then I was on the sofa, talking with my Rigger and bunny friends. We watched our other GF and Dom scene, and sat on a sofa a while. Then I just said it -
"I want to fly like _____"

Rigger looked at me, said "Ok, we can do it."

next thing I know we are in the changing room, removing my corset, and due to my breast being so large I put my bra back on for the support. Ten pounds each handing down is NOT comfortable, and if we made it to swinging... well, no, that would pull more.

We went back into the dungeon. I am all self conscience about my weight and my scars, but I took a deep breath, removed my dress and then stood by the suspension ring as Ms. Rigger began.

I have NEVER been tied - PTSD - but we agreed not to bind my arms and hands. I have been practicing at home with cotton rope binding my legs, arms, torso and ass to become accustomed to the feeling. Jute rope is a little itchy and rough, but it is strong, you want it for suspension.

I was then carefully wrapped under my arms and over my bust, then under my bust - all the while Ms. Rigger talked to me, checking on my PTSD, and bunny helped with smiles and calm talking. Our other friends were on a far sofa in aftercare by now, and I saw them smile at me.

Ms. Rigger secured my chest and rib cage, then my hips and pelvis, I knelt as she worked my ankles and shin area. Then I planked - CORE muscle baby! lol No one ever really talks about how much strength it takes to be a suspended rope bunny!

Had to make some adjustments, and move the weight distribution. By now, I had asked the other Ms. Bunny to invite my friends over to share my first time with me, and for moral support.

Planked again, was doing push ups on my toes and hands. Weight was good this time. Wire was pulled up more... I pushed off the ground. and then I was doing the Tom Cruise arms from Mission Impossible and made the music DO DO DO DO!

laughing... they checked with me, then raised me up some more. Kept checking, and raised me up some more.. then i was spinning a bit, four feet off the ground. Then I was up higher... and they pushed my feet and I swung out.

As promised to the Ms. Bunny I made mermaid wiggles and a fish face.

I was over six feet in the air. Swinging and flying. Laughing. Had it not been for the rope burn I was beginning to feel under my arms on my side breast area, I could have gone longer.

Down I came. Touched the ground, stopped the swaying, planked then knelt. Feet and ankles first.. then worked the lines in reverse.

Hugs all around.

I hugged Ms. Rigger. And all my friends.

I had some rope marks after and this morning there are pinky rope burn marks under my arms. I can feel rope marks on my hips/pelvic but they are not seen.



5 Comments
Dude, Man up and write a decent profile... letter to a clueless whiner
Posted:Mar 25, 2017 2:08 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2017 9:16 am
2039 Views





Guy, profile is bfann697, has a status and a profile that are the cause of his issues -

Status: "I give up. Tired of being blocked for saying hello."

Profile: "I give up. Too many stuck up women on here................."


So I wrote him the following as a wake up call to man up ---


your profile is WHY you are being blocked.. you are doing it to yourself. --- are you really that ignorant of input and gain?

Yes, REAL women are going to READ your profile.. and if you are that lazy to not write anything about who you are, what you seek and why.. and we dont mean kinky sex - you have a penis, we know you want sex.... really, act like a man and open up ... stop blaming others for your own lack of effort...

an email with "hi" and now profile - one could have you ignored, both, seriously - you are ASKING to be blocked



perhaps I have helped him, perhaps he will be a typical male and despise the fact I had the audacity to correct his errors.

Shrugs

One profile at a time

Love ME!!!!

Princess Mischief



11 Comments
Stickers for the Little Girl *
Posted:Mar 22, 2017 1:23 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2017 3:02 pm
7585 Views




I like stickers and gold stars - well, I guess a gold star is a subset of stickers, so it is redundant. lol

I think it would be fun to have Daddy give me stickers for a job well done, for anything fun.

He can place some on my shirt, some on a chart, some on my skin...

I think at times he may wish to place them near my nipples, and then rub them in extra carefully, they may even need kisses to secure them in place.

Yes, I need more stickers!

and Hello Kitty band-aids.... but that is another story



4 Comments
You Are Not an "Open Book" IF Your Profile Is Blank - Stop Living in Denial
Posted:Mar 20, 2017 11:35 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2017 3:14 pm
10960 Views





The Setting: Receiving an email from a person who complements your profile. You click on their name to read their profile, anticipating what you may have in common. To your dismay the profile is practically blank - nothing or barely nothing is written. Some times they brag about "ask me anything, I am an open book!"

But this "open book" stance which they so proudly proclaim is a lie.

Why is it a lie?

When a book is lain open, it is full of words, stories, inviting the reader to investigate more. It is not a blank page, void of character and passion.

An Open Book GIVES to the reader, it does not make the reader work and wonder what to ask - Why would the reader ask anything of a blank page?

An Open Book GIVES the reader information, it shows that someone cared enough about content enough to take the time to write and express something with hope of captivating the reader enough to turn the page, wishing to discover more.

An Open Book Shows the author, the creator is willing to invest in the time to express and begin the task of true open communication.

An Open Book does not make the reader do all the work by developing questions to ask. No, the Open Book gives the reader a place to start, some background to help formulate questions and invite the reader to ask more.

If you have to profess to be an "Open Book" on a blank page, it is more than likely you are not one.


**********


Everyone receives SPAM And emails from people who do not read - but then there are others, like yourself, who do read.

Is not your target someone who would take the time to write?

Would it not then be logical to provide those who write and expressing desires, wishes, needs the same courtesy they have given you by giving them something to read in return?


13 Comments
Banner of Life - Banner Over Me Is Love
Posted:Mar 20, 2017 9:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2017 2:08 am
11064 Views





It is true, I am a very passionate creature - not merely in the sexual definition of passion, but for life in and of itself.

I tend to put my entire little heart into many things I do.

I think a man who is passionate would be a lovely match for me, and at times I think having a man who marvels at my passion, appreciates it, nurtures it, while giving me a stable base from which to hold and wave like a flag in the wind would be magnificent.

Strong, supportive, secure -- someone I can depend upon who would not stifle me, but let me be free to be me, always knowing and trusting that our bond would be what keeps me held on to him with such intense desire to be his banner that he proudly displays.

In military and historical terms, countries and armies would have their banner waving over their units and counsel representing who they are and for whom they represent.



These banners are a source of pride and unity.

I want my life banner to be that of love.

His banner over me is Love.



7 Comments
I Hear It – Loud and Clear
Posted:Mar 19, 2017 2:11 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2017 1:17 pm
12035 Views




The Talk – It must happen at some point. There are several Talks which people who may potentially become intimate must have which are unique to every person and every relationship. One such Talk which I must have is my abhorrent issue with the substance of male cum. If anyone has actually read my blogs, I have mentioned the fact that I do not like the substance of cum, and that I would rather it go in a condom and not on or in me, to include my mouth.

Most of the time males seem to embrace this notion that my disdain for the substance of cum is a direct rejection of their entire being of existence – I may phrase this notion like “I see, and you are afraid that because I do not like the substance of cum in an on me that it means a rejection of you.”

Naturally, the males then jump to the defense of “No, I did not say that” or they stamper over something along the lines of – “I think the word ‘rejection’ is too
strong of a word” to which I then counter something along the lines of:

“I do not believe the word is too strong. My reasoning is logical – my entire being: mind, body, and spirit is being rejected by you due to the fact I was put in a situation where I had no control, was forced to have males ejaculate on me in heinous act and now struggle with it. For this disdain of a substance I am discarded. I struggle so hard with it. You have no idea. Makes me want to cry. I did not choose this, none of it. I worked so hard to learn to enjoy giving oral, but I cannot seem to overcome the flashbacks when the substance of cum is involved – the viscosity, the scent, the feel of it. I hear the snide remarks, the hate, and pain – it all returns to the foreground.”

By the time of this disclosure the male is trying to convey some type of comfort about how knowing I have suffered hurts their heart. And how they may truly understand this and my pain. But despite their “understanding” I still am facing rejection again from another male.

I did not choose this, but I am forced once again to relive it. It is no different than my reaction to fireworks – which seems people can understand and accept. I cannot stop the ice cold feeling, the breaking out in a cold sweat, the difficulty concentrating – and I have tried. And I have failed, over and over I have failed.

I have friends who have been in some of my counseling groups who cannot have anal sex, or cannot be tied, cannot have certain words said in moments of passion, and some are like me – they cannot tolerate the substance of male cum. We all have struggles with various intimate actions – trusting enough to let go is a huge one. It seems to ruin relationships or the starting of any relationship, and the rejection hurts. It stings, it is felt, keenly.

I envy those who can just freely act and not think about things, but only feel the good. But I am not given that; no, I must reveal dark and horrible actions because I now have issues.

Of course these valiant males then instruct me how I must not hold all men responsible for those despicable acts which were done to me in my earlier life time. They tell me how I am allowing these acts of the past to run a portion of my life and how I will always be in the dark because of it. And how I need to go back to the place I was before the attacks and events.

In my mind I am in angry stupor – as if I have not already had over a decade of counseling, as if I have not had and given lectures on overcoming many aspects of trauma. The arrogance of these male is appalling and sad. I already know not to listen to the talks about the “Shoulds” what one should and should not do.

But these helpful males keep going on about what I should and should not do.
What I hear in all this telling me what I should do? I hear how I have been too weak to not overcome it by now. How I am too weak to handle it because I allow it to affect me. A stronger person would never let it affect them and their lives.

That is what I hear every single time a person tells me how I “Should not allow the acts of the past to affect my life in the present”.

But the true irony is how angry these men become themselves upon hearing the atrocities – how they wish they could find the people who hurt me and have them killed or imprisoned. Yet, at the same time, I am the one who lives with the memory am not allowed to let the events affect my life in the present. Total double standard.

Their words about how I should not allow my past in this one area – the disdain for the substance of cum, the asking to use a condom and to not ejaculate in my mouth – is unacceptable to them because they do not want to have to “ruin the passion of the moment” by having to wear a condom or not ejaculate in my mouth. Oh, poor pitiful male, you have such a burden to bear.

I have no rights in the matter. I should not let it affect me and heaven forbid if I let affect anyone else with my issues from the past. There is nothing I can do about it. It seems to continually revert back to how I am punishing mankind with my issues over the substance of cum.

How I am wrong for not overcoming it, yet. How I am weak for not handling things better for their sake, not mine, but for their sake and inconvenience of using a condom. And this is the reality of what I face.

My perceived weakness over the substance of cum leads to their rejection of all of me.

Oh, they can argue all they wish about how they never actually used the word “weak” but in the end the meaning of what they said was heard loud and clear.

As clear as a bell – The fact that I need to not let it affect me, the fact that it still does – I am weak. I am not strong or intelligent enough to overcome this trauma to satisfy a male’s needs. I have heard these words, the meaning, the sentiment for years.

Because I have not learned to have a better reaction which pleases men I am weak and rejected.

That is the message.

Trust me. I hear it loud and clear. Males do not want to be bothered with needs and issues – I hear it loud and clear.

When I learn to be strong enough to have a better reaction then I will be worthy of their time – I hear it loud and clear.

Yes, I hear it –

Loud

And

Clear.



13 Comments
Online VS Real World Reality --- We in the Real World Do Talk with One Another
Posted:Mar 18, 2017 11:18 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2017 9:04 am
13559 Views




This past week several of my girlfriends and I have been talking about the local male "DaddyDom" population and the guys who email us.

Guys, --

yes we know for a fact you copy and paste the exact same email to all of us - and we do laugh about it.

We know for a fact what you look like and where you live because we all warn one another about the Players, Posers, and Weekend 50 Shaders

Does not matter if you are on AdultFriendFinder, Alt, Fet, CollarSpace, or ANY of the more mainstream social sites - we TALK, we SHARE information when a male is rude, sketchy, and not a gentleman.

We also talk and discuss those wonderful men who are Gentlemen and are true to their word. Even if a man says he is not interested but has been polite about it, he is given a good review - because he has been a gentleman and we wish those men all the best of luck to be happy.

We wish our fellow girlfriends to be happy and do not like it when we see them encounter the same idiots we have already screened and passed over. So, we talk.
We share the emails and texts you have sent. Because we actually go shopping together, eat lunches, have one another over for dinner and we have fun together.

Please, stop being so "shocked" when we already know who you may be and have no interest - we understand that if you are rude and cruel to one girl, you may be rude and cruel to another, and we want no part of that.

For you men who are gentlemen, your polite and courteous reputation proceeds you. Keep up the wonderful work, we wish you happiness.



5 Comments
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Posted:Mar 17, 2017 8:52 am
Last Updated:Mar 19, 2017 9:09 pm
15274 Views





Happy St. Patrick's Day


Of note - there are more people of some Irish decent in the USA then who are living in all of the Irelands.

St. Patrick's Day celebrations have long been a bigger party day in the USA than in Ireland.

I shall be one of a couple co-host for a St. Patrick's Day Party this evening. Greatly looking forward to the games and fun.

Please be safe every one!

Enjoy!




Kiss Me
I truly am part Irish!



7 Comments
Preaching to the Choir, Again - I know
Posted:Mar 16, 2017 2:28 pm
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2017 8:46 am
16480 Views





Once again, I am berated in email from local wanna-be Daddy Doms whom no-one in the active community knows.

Ranting about how I do no have a face photo yet I have photos of other things. Mocking me for this or that.

What they do not realize is that all their rants and criticisms are empty - they have no credit in the local community, some of the people whom I have known for over a decade.

I do not post a public profile face pic - so what? I have real people who know me and will vouch for me; who have known me for years. Which item has more value - a photo or character references from the local and great area BDSM community at large?

Their snide remarks are a weak attempt to make their target feel worthless while puffing their own ego in the process.

I do pity the people who may fall for these actions and attacks. I do hope those people who are targets realize their worth is not contingent upon some stranger's empty words.

Character of person, when you know others is much more important. I strongly suggest to the single people out there searching - if you can move outside your comfort zone a little, and attend Munches and become active you will find most groups are quite welcoming.

The on-line facades are much easier to handle and recognize when you know the real community.

I wish everyone good luck in their search, and I do hope that every one finds what they seek.



9 Comments
We Interrupt this Early Spring with Arctic Blasts
Posted:Mar 14, 2017 11:33 am
Last Updated:Mar 16, 2017 2:39 pm
19294 Views




The blossoms are not liking this last blast of winter bellows.
It does make for some more cozy bed fellows.

Fire in the fire place, warm and toasty hot.
While feeling in my fingertips and toes is a welcome thought.

It is Florida, yes I know
But there is ice on the ground, when the temps drop too low!

The gators have returned to their dens.
Waiting for Spring to return, who knows when?

The cozy warm fur blanket and my over the knee socks
I need a Daddy here to snuggle, and comb out my long locks.

Braided in pigtails, and slippers on my feet -
The Right Man to be Daddy, I can hardly wait to meet.

On my cold chilly walk, as watch the last cold "Hurrah!"
The sun shines down warm filling me with "Ahhh.

Fire blazes, and dances as I sip my hot tea.
Daddy come here and snuggle up with little girl, me!

Movies we can watch, and color I can do
Wiggle on your lap, and nestle into you.

Spring will be here to stay after this last arctic Blast,
And soon enough, it will all be a memory of the past.

Happy Arctic Blast days - to one and to all
The Groundhog in fact, made the correct call.



8 Comments

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