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Freeing Her Inner Baby Girl

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Gratitude and Love
Posted:Jul 28, 2017 9:21 am
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2017 8:43 pm
225 Views





As I sort through some boxes of mementos- some to go into memory books, others to be displayed on the walls, and some to be thrown out; I stumble across some things written down, years ago. I wrote about my dreams to end the loneliness, the desire for a wonderful man to understand me, etc. I read the hand written words on the page. I feel the pain of my former self, searching and never knowing if I would ever find anyone to quench my desires.

Then I softly hear him sleeping in the bed. One day, we will buy a new bed and it will be "our bed". There is such a peaceful comfort hearing his muffled snores. Not that I am a fan of myself or anyone snoring, but, it is a reminder that there is someone in my home who loves me.

I am no longer alone. I have a man who shares his heart's desires and he both shows and professes his love for me every single day, sometimes all day. We enjoy doing nothing together. We enjoy shopping, planning, cooking, dreaming - together.

I read some of the lines again: her pain, her hope, her wondering.

The muffled slumber calls to me. I peek in the bedroom.

Puppy guards his dreams while resting his head on a nearby pillow.
I bring the sheet up to his head and recover his body with the blanket. I kiss his shoulder. I softly inhale his scent, caress his skin - how I love to snuggle naked with him, his skin against mine, holding me, caressing me, loving me.

It is erotic, it is loving, it is comforting, it is sheer bliss.

I am full of emotion
Gratitude and Love.



3 Comments
Me, Micromanage? Never!! --- :P ha
Posted:Jul 28, 2017 7:18 am
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2017 9:01 am
245 Views





After decades of living alone and being somewhat of a perfectionist I tend to want things done the way I want them done. In the past, when I have asked for help, many times the help did it without the same care for detail and I would have to undo what was done and redo it or live with the annoying off-center, bent, crooked, paint splattered, or messed up what-have-you because I did not have the time nor the energy to fix it.

Mr. Disney, bless his heart, is a very patient man, especially with me. He and I both have a panache for attention to detail, and he too, is a perfectionist. However, we do not always arrive at the same outcome with the same process.

This change in process can make a little one very anxious, especially when she is so accustomed to past people's lack of detail and concern.

I found myself hovering and second guessing his every move, I would have driven myself crazy and been annoyed if I was the one watching me. Here I was, not being thankful, hoovering, and anxious.

I made a statement - "I think I need to go get some air. I do not want to micromanage you."

With this verbal confession, Mr. Disney started to laugh. I was confused. He smiled at me, "Princess, most people would not even recognize they were micromanaging, let alone confess to it. Go on, take a walk and get some air." And with a kiss to the forehead - BLISS -I took a deep breath, exhaled, then I scurried out the door.

Upon my return, I was less anxious. I became his little apprentice and helped with the the level, handing screws, and eyeing placement now and then. When not his little apprentice, I was busy organizing things that did not need the shelves for my room.


Relationships Are an Adventure.


It is a wonderful feeling to have a partner in life who desires the same detailed results. Now and then, I surprise him with my attention to detail in matters that concern him. We are both learning and growing.



3 Comments
Death Be Not Proud
Posted:Jul 27, 2017 1:40 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2017 6:49 am
545 Views





This past week a very close friend of the family passed away from an accident.
When I was given the news, Mr. Disney held me and I cried. It his me like an anvil - Hard and fast, completely blindsided.

During the week, my sleeping patterns have been very erratic, mood has been a little more distant, and my ability to be in pubic to shop and handle people has been compromised. Mr. Disney and I focused my energy on reorganizing and decorating my Little Spaces in the home.

We had planned to host a Christmas in July Dinner Party Friday night, house decorated and a full formal dinner. I planned to wear my black velvet cocktail dress- oh y'all she is lovely, fully circle skirt that can flare and spin out, very 1950s.

But my mood has been off. I am slower to do things, micromanaging Mr. Disney when he is doing things for me. (have another post about this) This upset me, and I would have to excuse myself from the room and go for some air.

Mr. Disney and I talked it over. He thought we should have cancelled the Dinner Party as soon as I received the news, but did not tell me due to the fact I was so excited about it. He thought the party would cheer me up. However, we now see it has added more pressure to act as if things are perfect and not give me the time I need to process and return to the land of the actively living.

This morning Mr. Disney and I decided to cancel the Christmas in July Dinner Party. We both know we are going to host other parties in August, September, October, November, and December.

I am thankful I have him as an anchor, and secure place to rest when I feel so lost in my emotions. My family and I have talked about the death, and how much we are going to miss our beloved friend. I am still in shock. Some people you never think are simply going to have an accident and not be there any more.

I know death is a part of life. Death of a loved one is hard no matter if it is a known challenge with terminal sickness or a freak act of nature. About five years ago, I had a very young niece pass away, suddenly from a rare sickness, . Now and then, my sibling and in-laws will recant stories about her.

Death of my military friends overseas is another thing that comes to the forethought of my mind when I am faced with a death in the present. I know I am a bit withdrawn.

Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I was overwhelmed having to be in public, making dishes to serve at the party, and although I did not, I had an urge to cry. Mr. Disney noticed this. So, we went directly home and he had me lay on the bed and hold me. No words, just hold me and I drifted off for a little nap. Fully refreshed and ready to tackle more things.

We ended up being awake until nearly 0400. We made love a couple times and for the first time all week, I drifted off to a peaceful sleep. Then we decided to postpone tomorrow's dinner party. I feel less pressure, I am going to be ok, I know it - this too shall pass, and I will be back to my normalcy.



4 Comments
What's for Lunch?
Posted:Jul 26, 2017 6:20 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2017 7:06 pm
773 Views




'Mr. Disney, do you want to have a sub for lunch?"

He replies, "Sure, if we can get her to agree to it."

I just look at him, and we both bust out laughing.



6 Comments
What Is in a Name?
Posted:Jul 25, 2017 7:33 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2017 7:06 pm
991 Views





What is in a name?
For years, over a decade I have been

"Please Seduce Me"

because it fit.


Now, believing I have been quite seduced by a man who has convinced me that I am the girl he seeks, I no longer am requesting to be seduced.


I think I will change the my screen name to

"Princess Mischief"

as that is what I am called in my local groups and by friends.


So many changes...
So many thoughts and reasoning.

But that name has already been taken.

What to do.. what to do lol



9 Comments
Up ALL Night
Posted:Jul 25, 2017 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2017 7:06 pm
1073 Views





I have chronic migraines, sometimes they last for hours a day for several days in a row. I have a whole team of neurologists and natural doctors helping me manage them. All the medications cause me to fall to sleep at some point; and sleep seems to be the best way to ride out the nausea and the pain.

Some times, due to napping off a migraine, my sleep cycle is completely wonky and I am eating lunch around midnight. Yikes!

And then of course, now that I have Mr. Disney, I need to make up for lost playtime. Shrugs, Hey! This little girl cannot help it that she needs this man, desires his touches and kisses, and craves all of his attention. I am his little fuck toy and he needs to play with me!

Last night, after a wonderful bath, I made him a cranberry and vodka on ice beverage while we were in the bubbles. There were candles and music, thus we soaked and relaxed for over an hour, then we rinsed off and he scrubbed my entire body with a loofah or his gentle hands and finger tips.

Then the Horny Bug bit me, hard!
We played and made love for hours. Somewhere around 0330 we were hungry, so we dressed and went to breakfast for French toast and bacon!

I sat across from him, the glow of love-making and the deep in love feeling all over me, and said - "I don't want this feeling to ever end."

Mr. Disney replied, "I hope you have it for the next 50 years, "Pauses, "but I may not be around in 50 so I hope someone else worthy of you can give it to you."

My whole little being melts inside as he looks at me. I want to make love to him at that moment. Tummy growls bringing me back to reality of needing to fuel. Waitress arrives with our plates. Perfect pre-dawn food!

Upon returning, although now tired, we made love again until the dawn's early light.

It was utter bliss for me. Something I had written about but never thought the day would come to happen for me. To have this dream, this relationship - I am amazed.

I napped and was awoken by lawnmowers, then had a headache for a couple hours, so I napped again. Now and then he would join me and hold me, whispering in my ear those words which sent me to heaven - "I love you, Princess."

Tonight, we will be attending another local BDSM Munch with a few friends. I may have to have another nap, lol. Mr. Disney knows I will be in the mood at some point tonight. I have already planned to tease him while we are out and about... he may have to take it out on my hinny. Giggles!



5 Comments
Special Friends, Indeed --- giggles
Posted:Jul 23, 2017 5:14 pm
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2017 2:02 pm
1870 Views




Mr. Disney and I are busy prepping walls to paint. At one point he smirks and says:

"I almost asked your girlfriends last night if they would like to come over and help prep and paint in exchange for sexual favors."

The smirk on his face broadened and he nodded, "Oh, yes!"

by then I was laughing.

I may have to give him s few more hours of special favors tonight - bubble bath, rubs, ooh la la...

The fun and laughter is never ending.



3 Comments
His Strength Sets Her Free: Allows Her to Be "Weak" and Let Go
Posted:Jul 23, 2017 8:19 am
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2017 1:51 pm
1991 Views





I have chronic PTSD, VA rating for it is 70% -- I have come to terms with many things, but I cannot control when a trigger is going to happen. sometimes loud unexpected noises will make me freeze and break out in an ice-cold sweat. Having Mr. Disney around has been different.

Now when these triggers happen Mr. Disney is there, grabs me and then holds me, snug and safe in his arms. The first time he did this - fireworks at Disney World - I was so shocked that someone would actually hold me, I was startled and began to cry.

Now y'all, I do not cry. I have not one to be mushy over movies, commercials, songs, etc. Have maybe cried ten times in the last twenty five years. I go numb and the feels are locked down, kept hidden away for fear of seeming weak or never being able to stop once the flood gates open.

So, there he was, holding me, securely, not saying anything and I went limp and began to cry. I was dumbfounded. I was embarrassed, but I let go and cried. Then when I was done crying, I remained in his arms until I felt this warmth penetrate me, fill me and the numbness was not as prevalent. He kissed my forehead and that was it. Held my hand and we went on with the rest of our evening. Periodically, he would softly check to see if I was cold again now and then and then simply squeeze my hand reminding me he was still there and then hug me.

Fast forward several weeks. We are out shopping, we are in a store by the front window. Suddenly lightening strikes a transistor directly outside the windows. My body felt the power expanding, the CRACK and BOOM, the building shook. In an instant, I felt like a 50 Cal had just gone off, shaking my Humvee.

Quickly, Mr. Disney grabbed me and pulled me into his chest, arms around me. I melted into his arms. I had tears running down my cheeks. It was a silent cry, but I was able to release all those past fears and sorrows.

There is a change happening in me.


My hard exterior shell is softening, I speak slower and more gently at times. I feel this softening feminine full of power, but no longer so hard developing. I am able to share my burdens with him and he will mentally and physically help with carrying my heaviness weighing me down.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I am still as passionate and fiery as every, in fact that is one thing Mr. Disney loves about me. He allows enjoys to vex me, but that is another post

Sleeping with him, that was a hurdle for me. To fall asleep and sleep with a man in my bed. Was not sure how I was going to do this on a regular basis. I was very self conscience of my "sleep running", screams, and fits. We talked in depth about this. He said he would do what he could and if it became too bad he would leave and let me have the bed alone.

During my night terrors have almost punched Mr. Disney in my sleep, but most of the time he will roll over and hold me until my shuddering and shaking subsides and my slumber returns the the restful, albeit snoring self.

He will ask me how I slept in the morning, and how I feel - mentally, emotionally, and physically. I do my "systems" check and give him the report.
And apparently I talk and now and then walk in my sleepy state, he delights in teasing me about some of the things I have said or done in my sleep, while other things he carefully bridges and we discuss to some extent. He will then proceed to tell me about my night terror and him holding me, any talking or walking, all of which I have no recollection, I just know I had bad dreams.

This letting my guard down is completely new to me. I am leery of it at times as I recall past events, however I cannot hold him accountable for the wrongs of others. More Baby Steps.


The trust in our relationship is growing stronger,
as it grows I share more of self and he shares more of himself.


He has remarked about how much more relaxed I am around him. Can physically feel my body relax, mind rest, and I feel secure. It is safe. It is uncharted.


Love casts out the fears.

I Feel the Love
I Give the Love
We Nurture the Love



I think when he protects me, holds me, it makes him feel powerful more masculine.

I believe some men really need to feel that transfer of energy:
while I let it go,
it builds and fortifies him,
then I am set free.

I am more capable of giving love and receiving love. And this fact, amazes me.




8 Comments
Mid-Morning Pillow Talk
Posted:Jul 21, 2017 9:16 am
Last Updated:Jul 23, 2017 7:26 am
2526 Views




While kissing his neck, whispers in his ear, "Hey, I am horny." Giggles

Mr. Disney, "Well, I sort of already knew that."

Giggling, "Oh? What gave it away?"

"Well, for one, you wrote a poem about killing toys."

"And the other?"

"We live in an oxygenated nitrogen atmosphere."

laughter and more kisses



3 Comments
Toy Killer
Posted:Jul 21, 2017 7:32 am
Last Updated:Jul 21, 2017 7:02 pm
2565 Views





-Toy Killer -

Needy,
Greedy,
Toy Killer.

Grinding,
Gyrating,
Toy Killer.

When the urge is strong
And one's hormones are troubling
Reaching for the Toy to curb in endless Joy
Toy Killer!

Grind the behind
Losing your mind
Toy Killer.

New batteries,
Take care of the needs.
Toy Killer!

Grin and Press,
There is no mess.
Toy Killer!

Shop on line
Use any time,
Toy Killer!

Hours of fun,
When you have no one,
Toy Killer!

Aids in pleasure
Beyond all measure,
Toy Killer!

When you're alone
or on the phone,
Toy Killer!

Share the joy,
Partners with toys!
Toy Killers!

Toy Killers!



3 Comments

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