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Freeing Her Inner Baby Girl

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What Was It That Made You Take the Next Step?
Posted:Jan 22, 2018 8:15 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2018 2:06 pm
268 Views





For those of you who are married, living with someone - think back to that moment when you asked that person to move in with you or to marry you.


What were your thoughts?

What were your plans?

How did you feel?


Mr. Disney and I have been dating for a while. I am not one to just allow a person to move in with me without thinking it over in detail. Nor am I one to say, "Yes!" when I am asked "Will you marry me?" without having had talked about this next step in the relationship.

I was married once - and when I look back I understand all the mistakes I made in that decision to marry and I vowed to not make those same mistakes again.

Mr. Disney and I talked at great lengths before I consented for him to move in with me- we discussed finances, family, religion, relationship boundaries and relationship goals.

Over the past three months Mr. Disney and I have discussed the great M-Word. it is for personal, legal, and religious reasons I wish to marry. For those of you who had privy to my old profile, the one I had for well over a decade, the M-Word and my desire to one day be married again was in the first section.

It took me fifteen years after my divorce to even consider the idea of marrying again. But as time came close to becoming an empty nester, I had a stronger desire to have a husband - a best friend who would be my partner. Someone who gave me the freedom to love him; someone who inspired me to spoil him; someone who can disagree with me, have a heated debate or argument, yet still respect me and love me; someone who was as goofy as I can be and be silly and laugh with me; someone who stood by me when I am become sick and not leave because this is not what he signed up for; someone who encouraged and desired me to be his personal sex kitten. Of course, I wanted to do and feel the same things for him equally.

So in looking back in your current or past relationship - both the good and the bad - what was it that made you think and say:


"Yes, move in with me."

"Yes, I want to marry her."

"Yes, I will move in with you."

"Yes, I will marry you."




2 Comments
Not Easy, But Oh, So Willing
Posted:Jan 22, 2018 7:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 22, 2018 8:19 am
276 Views






Not Easy, But Oh, So WIlling

Men need to hunt,
feel the excitement of the chase.
Their earned prize of effort
Wrapped in leather or lace

Women need to feel chased and desired.
Passion ignites, as he builds a fire
The Game is A Foot!
And deliberate

Minute After Minute
Hour After Hour
I feel his passion
I feel his power

I am not easy, but I am Oh So Willing to be His Prey.
Hungry for his attention
Brought on by the chase
Delight in his arms
His breath undresses me
Safe, there are no alarms.

Come find me
I await your skills

Hunter to the Prey
Chasing Down in the Night
Darting through the woods
Love at First Bite

Take me at your will
Feel my heat, it desires for your touch

I am not Easy,
But Oh,
Yes, Oh, Oh, Oooooh
I am So Willing




3 Comments
Bling My Wheels
Posted:Jan 21, 2018 4:00 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2018 1:04 pm
1212 Views





Since my wheelchair has become, once again, a main mode of public transportation outside my home, I want to make it more pretty. I have grown tired of the drab black. It needs to at least look more like my personality. I was thinking about adding shiny, sparkling tape to the wheels.

I could also add battery operated lights to the wheels, tape them in place.


Anyone have any suggestions?


I know duct tape is not the way to go. It will become gummy and tacky, not so good for my hands. ICK!



8 Comments
Challenges of Life - The Hand We Are Dealt
Posted:Jan 21, 2018 3:10 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2018 11:04 pm
1217 Views






My relationship with my body has changed. I used to consider it as a servant who should obey, function, give pleasure. In sickness, you realize that you are not the boss. It is the other way around.
- Federico Fellini

I know that in life there will be sickness, devastation, disappointments, heartache - it's a given. What's not a given is the way you choose to get through it all. If you look hard enough, you can always find the bright side.
- Rashida Jones



I have been quite ill, nothing contagious just the way life can be at times. One could say my brain was on strike and took a holiday from my will to function as a normal adult human being. It has taken months to recover to the point where I am now.

I am more than thankful Mr. Disney has been by my side to help me go through this debilitating obstacle. He is the one who first saw there was something wrong happening with my brain and then my body. He took me to the ER. He stayed by me while the doctors and nurses came in and out of the room.

I do not like hospitals. I despise having a team of people trying to find a viable vein to give me an IV. The bruises I acquired were not ones which were wanted.Physical Therapy will take months.


I will not go into detail, but it was very scary.
For my long time on line friends who wish to know more, please email me.

The good news, is the prognosis is good.
I am recovering.
I will recover.

"The key to life is accepting challenges. Once someone stops doing this, he’s dead."
-Bette Davis

It will not be easy. But I is possible.

I have not yet begun to fight.

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s a day you’ve had everything to do and you’ve done it."
-Margaret Thatcher




********



"That is life.

Our attitude about how we deal with loss, setbacks, and challenges are what makes us stronger or weaker, survivors or victims.

I for one am a conqueror.
I wont back down."
- Princess Mischief, 2018


I have so much to be thankful I have so much which I wish to still do, one of them is travel to Europe and other places abroad with Mr. Disney.



6 Comments
"Welcome Back, Kotter"
Posted:Jan 21, 2018 2:46 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2018 6:25 am
1213 Views





Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out
Welcome back, to that same old place that you laughed about
Well the names have all changed since you hung around
But those dreams have remained and they've turned around
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya
(Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Back here where we need ya
(Back here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
We always could spot a friend, welcome back
And I smile when I think how you must have been
And I know what a scene you were learning in
Was there something that made you come back again
And what could ever lead ya
(What could ever lead ya)
Back here where we need ya
(Back here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back
And I know what a scene you were learning in
Was there something that made you come back again
And what could ever lead ya
(What could ever lead ya)
Back here where we need ya
(Back here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back
Yeah we tease him a lot, welcome back, welcome back
Cause we got him on the spot, welcome back, welcome back
Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Songwriters: John Benson Sebastian




Although this song was written about a teacher who escaped the inner city of NYC living and how he came back to his roots to help other people learn and leave the sorrows and hardships of one's growing pains in a more difficult living environment, I think this song also speaks to a person who has gone through a challenge, learned and then is able to share that learning experience for the embetterment of other people.

Blogging on here {and other sites sharing the same posts} where am able to read comments and reply to them has help my personal growth in many ways. It gave me a platform to clarify my thoughts while at the same time it gave me feedback from many viewpoints. It gave me a voice to vent my frustrations about modern dating life, the struggles with rude and at times mean people at the other end of a keyboard, and it gave me a place to share and explore my sexual fantasies. It has been cathartic - at times poignant, at others justified, but most were simple awe and an appreciation of being human.

It is a familiar place, even though the names may have changed over the years, I am continually drawn back, to share, to explore, to vent, and to learn. I enjoy reading the comments, I read other blogs now and then when I have time and make comments when I can find the words to express myself with resolve.



2 Comments
Inspired from an on-line group discussion - Real Women Are Not Here to Help You Masturbate
Posted:Oct 25, 2017 9:49 am
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2017 3:52 pm
27191 Views






real women are not here to help you masturbate


The real women here still want to be treated as a person and not some cyborg here for your fantasies. If all you want to do is swipe and fuck without any connection to the person as a human, may i suggest Tinder?

I honestly believe the lack of communication skills, lack of ability to connect as a human is creating a totally fractured society - they are even fractured from their own self.

I spent years, not hours, not days, not weeks, not months - YEARS - searching for a man like Mr. Disney. I honestly laugh at the many males who act so desperate for a "Dip in the hole" that they devolve to less than animals - even animals know the courting rituals and the needs wanted of the object of their desire - and most of the time the hours and days they spend courting their intended results in a few moments of bliss and then that is it - but both parties received what they needed.

It took Mr. Disney and I a while to mesh well physically - people are not perfect. We were friends then it progressed from there. We have been talking/communicating for hours a day -text, email, phone calls, and in person. I shared with him most of my issues with on-line dating, the horror stories, and he shared with me his stories and concerns.

Mr. Disney loves the fact I am quite open sexually and am willing to talk, discuss, share, and fantasize with him about many topics. I enjoy the fact that Mr. Disney and I can, and have had, sexual playtime all day and all night, some days we never dressed or left the house except to walk the puppy. We flirt while shopping, we go out with friends and flirt with one another in front of others, we talk and we grow together. I would rather invest time in one person knowing that I am going to have great sex on top of a great friendship than invest that same time and effort in random males who just want me to help them masturbate when I meet them.

Mr. Disney and I both are receiving what we need from the other. If you are not willing to give what the other needs - and if males keep thinking all we women needed was a man's penis , you males are going to stay solo for a long time.


- we have are own toys, get a clue -




5 Comments
Oh, the power of Kisses!
Posted:Oct 14, 2017 7:10 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2017 3:52 pm
60547 Views




I sat, every so innocently on the sofa sipping my chocolate milk, when I heard the sound of jeans and a belt being fastened.

I chirped out, "Do I hear clothes being put on?"

Mr. Disney laughed, "Yes, you do. I need to take puppy for a walk."

I rose to meet him in the hall. Smothered his cheek and neck with kisses. He gentle laughed and said, "Puppy come save me!"

"Save you? from what?" I giggled, while still giving him kisses.

He laughed, as I kept kissing him.

Then he looked at me, grinning, "Saving me from having to remove my jeans and then the trouble of having to put them back on after I ravish you."


giggles

oh, the power of kisses



4 Comments
Friday the 13th and Halloween Fun
Posted:Oct 13, 2017 1:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2017 3:52 pm
63651 Views





Happy Friday the 13th

Hope everyone enjoys the day and the weekend.



Mr. Disney and I are hosting our last Harry Potter Movie night tonight - double feature of the "Deathly Hallows" and we are serving dishes from The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook .

We even have our Hogwarts attire. Last week I was Bellatrix LaStrange - this week will be a Hufflepuff - Friend to All. Mr. Disney is a Griffendor - he is so brave, yet does not follow all the rules lol

We have a port key which takes people to Platform 9 3/4 which one must go through to enter the house.

The living room, dinning room, main hallway are decorated as well.

We have an owlery where several owls await with little envelops of mail. The owlery is decorated with autumn leaf garland, purple lights underfoot, and orange lights along the pole for the spiral stairs and loft.

We have a sign for Olivander's Wand Shop as well as a street sign for Hogsmeade.

The Sorting Hat guards the drinks and snacks on a table.

The mantel is decorated with leaf garland, sparkle orange ribbon, and purple lights. Hedwig is perched in the center of the fireplace from the garland.

There are spiders - large ones - decedents of Aragog sitting on various pumpkin center pieces. I made a huge spider from black corduroy, foam filler, and wire to be Aragog - he will sit on the steps waiting to watch those who enter.

Wizard hats swing from orange light garland, and then witches hats with a glowing orange ring around the headband, hang down the center of the hallway from the living room to the front bathroom.

We have had fun hosting this Harry Potter series over the last couple months.


**************


Next week we are going to Walt Disney World for a few days, one day will be Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween. Should be a great week of magical adventures.


**************


Near the end of the month we are hosting "The Great Pumpkin Carving Party" where people can come over, carve pumpkins, eat fun spooky food, and watch a few Halloween movies - no slasher horrors movies.


Hope everyone has a great weekend!





5 Comments
The Value of Consent .......................... {trigger warning}
Posted:Oct 12, 2017 3:33 am
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2017 3:52 pm
66929 Views






My Mr. Disney has been wonderful.
He is willing to listen when I am ready to talk.
He is willing to protect me at all costs when he believes I need it.

Although I have never truly given him the specifics, he knows I am a survivor.

As an Adult a Survivor of:
Sexual Harassment
Sexual Assault
Personal Assault
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Physical Abuse

As a Child into My Teens a Survivor of:
Sexual Abuse
Sexual Assault
Sexual Molestation
Personal Assault
Emotional Abuse


Because of my past, I try to avoid movies, songs, articles, role-play, items, objects, etc which bring my abuse to the forefront of my thoughts and then make it very difficult to function in any capacity.

I am a very strong advocate for consent. Nothing implied, talk about it. Discuss it. Describe it. Give the limits.

The past couple of years the media has been full of politicians and Hollywood heavyweights who have been accused of "non-consensual" contact and other intimidation tactics manipulating their object of desire into forced submission to do what is demanded - or else.


It makes me want to vomit.


The physical reaction I have to these accounts, they are not stories in a book, they are a person's account and recollection of something from their personal life.

If it is ever confirmed that a victim of sexual non-consent lied about the event, I think that person needs to pays huge atonement and retributions. It is difficult enough already when a person has to comprehend what happened, then process the events, over come the tidal waves of emotions steeped in guilt, shame, and horror to even acknowledge


"Yes, it happened to me."


I was in therapy for three years, many years after the fact - decades even - before I could even accept the fact "it happened to me" it was not a dream, it was not a story in a book, it was not some after school special or a Hallmark movie - it was real, it happened to me.

It is wretched. Even with the best of support systems available, Non-Consensual Acts has a way of messing with most people for the rest of their life.


NPR has an article on line -
"Women Struggled For Years Before Speaking Out Against Harvey Weinstein"



Complicit - helping to commit a crime or do wrong in some way


The fact that so many people who are survivors of Non-Consensual Sexual Acts feel guilty as if their own actions somehow allowed the wrongful event to happen is grievous.

As a child, when I was being groomed to be abused by people outside my family, I would try to tell people how i felt and what was wrong, but I was dismissed, sometimes abruptly, about how I needed to be the good girl, set the example, and obey my elders/adult friends of the family.

I felt trapped and alone. for many years. It affected my self-worth, my ability to trust my own instinct, i would triple guess my actions, words, and thoughts. It was confusing. It still is at times.

As an adult, I was singled out many times over the course of a few years. Since I had the grooming as a child, I would go completely numb and disassociate. Sometimes, I would act out in the role of what I had been accused, just to find an identity, even when I knew that identity was not who I was at heart. I just wanted the pain to go away.

My brain literally forgot many of the acts. I would have flashbacks and reactions to triggers which brought on a hint of a memory, feelings, confusion, angry - a lot of anger, shame, guilt, and then I would tuck those feelings away because I was brought up to set the example that "good girls do not cry" and in the military you just "buck up and take it" then suck it up up and press on" or the retaliation could be worse. I actually convinced myself it never happened or it was not me.

It took over three years for me to actually admit it happened to me. But there was the evidence in the file. The moment that happened I was sick to my stomach. I had to find help, I went to my doctor's office. And there, I sat on the floor and I cried in my doctors lap for forty-five minutes, while my head was softly caressed and words that i needed to hear soothed me a little.

I felt as if I was at the funeral of my best friend. I was in a daze for weeks and into months feeling the grief of those violent atrocities which stripped away my childhood, my formative teen and young adult years.


Then we began the path to healing.

Would of, Should of, Could of
No.


I have been in one on one sessions and I have been in group sessions for sexual abuse and assault, anger management, and how the brain functions. I could probably give lessons and help facilitate support groups from the many years I have had in counselling.

I can read other people 's writings or listen to the talk and understand why they think they do and at the same time identify the fallacy in their thinking, because I have been there as well.

I will write more about this topic of Consent and Non-Consensual Sexual Acts and their subcategories which fall into adult behaviors of adaptation to survive.


This topic of Non-Consent drains me.


I need to distance myself from it. so I do not become depressed because I am bogged down in the past.

That is a key thing to understand. People need to distance one's self from the negative stimuli to allow the brain to process and the heart to heal.
{I have thoughts about this and relationship fails as well.}


~~ Ending on a Happy Note ~~

For now, know this:


Mr. Disney is the first male in my life who has actually protected me. He has loved me as I have always needed to have been loved my whole life. And I am able to openly love him in return. I feel gratitude, thankfulness, and acceptance.

{I will also write more about love and acceptance.}



3 Comments
When Seven Minutes Needs an Interruption of Urgency
Posted:Oct 11, 2017 3:17 pm
Last Updated:Oct 12, 2017 6:26 pm
68273 Views




Following lunch, Mr. Disney asked me, "How soon until you will be ready to go?"

"I just have to get dressed and do my hair, about seven minutes," was my reply. I had taken a shower before lunch and was in a towel while we ate lunch. Mr. Disney said he would be ready in about five.

I quickly scurried down the hall, donned a skirt and a top over my panties and bra. I was searching for a hair band to put my hair in a ponytail when Mr. Disney walks in behind me. He had put on his jeans and needed to change his shirt. He leaned down, kissed me, hands to my bum, then he stood back up and gave me that smirkish grin of his that I absolutely adore as it makes me completely melt.

Cupping the back of his head and neck, I pulled him back down to me, kissing him deeper, then I whispered, "Take me now."

Well, folks, Mr. Disney did. My "seven minutes to be ready to go" was postponed by an hour of Mr. Disney "taking me now", we laughed about the interruption and then a showered.



4 Comments

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