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Sounds of my Thoughts

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Posted:Feb 18, 2017 5:11 pm
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2017 9:49 pm
249 Views


I had a bit of a sad rough day but there was always this thought of knowing that I will be taken somewhere else when I need it. Words are a huge pleasure for me, almost like a fetish. Reading and with my intensely vivid imagination I can take words in and view so much of them. I play them out and know just how it can feel when it comes to reality.

I'm feeling that person again, who was missing for too long. My submissive, sensual, emotional person. It's not just the raw need of play, but the deeper emotional side of it that I want now. To feel deeper, to allow emotions to show, and to be loved.

Do I want it all, I was told I could have it all and I will aim to have it all. I want the play, the pain, AND the love of a Dominant.
4 Comments
Buttons...yay!
Posted:Feb 17, 2017 2:45 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2017 2:56 am
237 Views


I'm sure you all know that the Dominant that I met and played with will not be in a D/s relationship, he will always be a part of me in a sense because he did show me somethings about myself in that short period we were together. I appreciate and respect him for the experience he gave me, he was who I needed, and who removed all that frustration and tension that was building for too long.

So since I've posted that I'm moving to Calgary I've been in touch with a few Dominants. I flirted with one in particular because of the way he projected himself in his profile. I love intelligence and I seen that immediately, and doesn't hurt that he's a good looking man...

This particular Dominant and I have been communicating everyday and gaining insight into each others lives. I can't tell you how many messages we exchanged the last few days. He's like me...very expressive and very informative...lol

So in order to find out whether or not there truly is something there that can be built on I need my focus to be on him. I'm not sure how many people read my blog before they contact me but something will be added to my profile or status. I'm not one to lead anyone on.

Everyone knows why I'm here. To find that long-term relationship with a Dominant man, whom I can satisfy and be satisfied by. Someone who I will submit my entire being to when he desires it. Someone who will take me to that place where my emotional and physical being will be freed.

AND in order for me to find that perfect Dom (perfect for me) I need to develop a true connection with him. If my mind is on more than one Dom I can't develop a true connection with anyone.

I do have my friends that I communicate with, see how one another are doing, ask crazy questions, get silly with... and who genuinely care about my well-being, so I won't be ending those contacts. But for those who are wanting more than friendship right now I cannot entertain that thought.

My focus will be on him until we've met and a decision is made. But...I must say so far he is absolutely fantastic and has pushed my submissive button just the right way...oh and my intellectual one too...hehe
0 Comments
Interesting
Posted:Feb 15, 2017 6:36 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2017 12:56 pm
377 Views

I just thought I would share this...interesting, on the money, and funny all at the same time. I read my horoscope and Tarot on a daily basis but I'm not a fanatic about it. I enjoy at times how right it can be though.
2 Comments
Flirt!
Posted:Feb 14, 2017 5:40 am
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2017 3:13 pm
453 Views


Happy Valentines Day!


So my horoscope says I'm going to have a delicious day...hmmmm...I have no sweetheart so it won't be chocolate. Well not the kind you eat anyway...think I'll go stare at the yummy trainer at the Field House, he is definitely as delicious as chocolate in all kinds of ways!

My Tarot card says, "Seize the day, and build something wonderful with it". I'm definitely going to seize something, maybe my muscles...haha...

Another slow day, I did get interrupted while I was working out yesterday. Had to cut it short so going to try again. I'm glad I can work on the run. Glad I have a young and energetic assistant.

So enjoy the day with your sweethearts, if you have one, if not pamper yourself and flirt with as many men/women as you can...

2 Comments
Mountains
Posted:Feb 13, 2017 7:42 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2017 12:56 pm
457 Views


I had written about this before and it's about to come sooner than I first thought.

I'm moving. It's for my own happiness. I can't be who I am when I live so close to family and relatives. I've never lived here for long periods and I'm starting to feel like I'm being suffocated.

I was going to move by the end of March and I still might. But to be realistic and so as I'm not pushing too quick I've decided to make the end of April my deadline.

"Go West" they say...so I'm going West...lol

So I think my search will be put on the back burner for awhile. I'll still enjoy the conversations and flirts back and forth but that will be pretty much it.

I'll be complaining about being frustrated again, but I'll just beg for some attention and maybe Sir will help me out...wink.

At the end of February I will be in Calgary for a week. During that time I will be checking out areas and touring the city a little, and never know I just might run into a friend...lol. I know certain areas and I find it easy to get around in the city so it won't be a struggle.

I'm excited and it's what I need. I do love the mountains and to be that close to Lake Louise and Banff, will be a dream.
1 comment
One of Those Days
Posted:Feb 13, 2017 6:45 am
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2017 7:05 pm
538 Views

One of those days...no work today. Don't particularly like my job all that much. It's kind of hit and miss at times. It can be good when I need the time off but when I need to occupy my mind at times it's just not enough.

So what to do today...work on my story......but first of all go run an errand then head to the Field House and work off some of this extra energy I've been feeling lately. It's not the frustrated, tense energy I was feeling, it's the fulfilled no frustrated, no tense, energy...lol

Sometimes I wish I had someone to join me while I work out but then again it would be a bit distracting. Maybe I'll strike up a conversation with some of the other patrons...we'll see.

I've made a serious decision over the weekend which I will be telling y'all about later. A great decision, and one that I know will be so much better for me!

Anyway, have a great week all my kinky friends!
1 comment
Beautiful
Posted:Feb 11, 2017 11:55 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2017 5:48 pm
956 Views

I woke feeling absolutely beautiful!

I slept hard and long. Normally I'm up no later than 6:30 a.m. and this morning I slept until 8:00 a.m.

Woke with a clear head and a little bit of a stiff body...so I got ready and went to the gym. Had to kind of push myself a little...3 days off and the sore stiff muscles was a task in itself, but I did my usual work out and even pushed a little more just because I like that feeling of accomplishing just a little bit more each time.

I got to the Field House where I work out and there's a track meet going on. The equipment I use was available so I decided to stay. Lots of hard, tight bodies running around, there were adult competitions too and I got to see both adult men and women race right in front of me while I did my work out...very nice indeed...

When I was walking out I met my daughters grade 8 basketball coach. He's now the track coach of her old school. He recognized me and came over to say hi...talked about my daughter and then he asked how long I've been working out...talked on that subject and then he gave me some pointers...lots of water and protein. Which I already knew. Gave me encouraging words and sent me on my way.

Now what to do with all this energy...run some errands and go visit my grandkids for the day.

Have a great afternoon all my kinky friends...I'm feeling absolutely beautiful, fulfilled and energized.
5 Comments
Butterflies Are Calm!
Posted:Feb 10, 2017 7:25 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2017 7:09 am
881 Views

I took that leap that I never thought I would, met someone from a kinky website...lol...but I no longer have that tension or the frustrations that were plaguing my life. Sir pepsi23 took it all away. He made me feel all those feelings that I’ve been missing in my life. I was his for 42 hours straight!

The minute I knew his flight took off from Winnipeg I started getting nervous. Once I was standing in front of him I knew I made the right choice. I wanted to do all the things that Sir wanted from me...I wanted to please him more than I wanted my own needs taken care of.

Of course I had fears but he dashed all those fears from my mind. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to submit, I totally and absolutely submitted to him. I was afraid I wouldn’t be enough for him, he was pleased! I did have an issue with being bound a certain way but he talked me through it and although I wasn’t able to handle it for long it was a very important experience that I hope at some point we will try again.

I’m not going to go into any deep details because that’s for him and me to enjoy in our own thoughts. But I will say that he taught me a few things that I never realized about myself. Made me realize that I need more than I thought I did. He fulfilled me in ways that I didn’t think would happen. I gave him all of me!

Honestly I was a lost submissive for far too long. He made me feel, made me feel different from what I had felt in the past. I wanted to put the past in the past and he helped me do that. I needed experience because I knew that if I needed more he would give me more or if I needed less he would give me less. He was everything I needed and more. The 10 year relationship with a Dominant needed to be put in the past and he helped me put him in the past. I was afraid that I would think about him more than I would concentrate on Sir but it certainly wasn’t my ex-Dom I thought about...no sir...lol

I know even though I’ve lived the lifestyle for all of my adult life, I still have things to learn. Each Dominant is different and I learned things about him as he, I’m sure, learned things about me. I realized that I enjoyed being watched more than I use to. I cooked us dinner, in my stockings, heels and panties, while I was chained...making the chain drag along the floor as I moved around the kitchenette...I had to be careful in heels but I did it... ..., yes I was topless... ...! And I totally enjoyed it!

So many years since I served in the manner he demanded. Although he gagged me he still called me a whiner...lol...I am very verbal so if I feel it I will verbalize it. Yes I got pissy a few times, he knew it but I denied it. I couldn’t speak but he would ask me questions, being a “bastard” as he put it, he would say I can’t understand you or I can’t hear you. It was actually quite fun and exhilarating when we did our little dance.

It’s been many years since I showered with anyone. Being near a wet Dominant body is very erotic. Running the soap over his body and hearing the pleasure he got from it went straight to my head and of course other parts of my body! Humiliation is not big with me but it was an experience that I needed also. Of course I’m not going to fill you in on that but it was different and I wasn’t as humiliated as I thought I would be. I got passed it with no tears and no attitude.

I needed to be in that space that I missed and he took me to that place several times. The tears I shed were tears that I needed to shed. The release I received from him was the release I needed, and I needed to serve and he allowed me to serve him. My head is on straight and so much clearer now that I’ve had the pleasure of it all. I can now move on to the life that I truly need and want. I will find that one who will do what Sir has done, and live a fulfilling life along side that one.

So much I took in, so much he gave me...all of which I truly needed and I needed him to take me there and to take from me! He was perfect for guiding me back into these feelings and fulfilling these needs. I have total respect for what Dominants give to us...and I know that it’s not always easy; as I’m sure I wasn’t the easiest. I did my best to be the submissive he desired...and he seemed to be pleased with me, and said he was pleased with me. Right now my body will remind me over the next few days just how pleased he must be...

Those butterflies that fluttered in my tummy have been calmed, thank you Sir!
0 Comments
Butterflies In My Tummy!
Posted:Feb 7, 2017 6:36 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2017 12:24 pm
1226 Views

I've been going through tons of feelings the last couple days. Excitement, nervousness, fear, and well, horny as fuck...

Excited because it's been over 6 years since anyone has treated me like the submissive I desire to be treated like.
Nervous because this will be our first meeting and it is normal to have these feelings, he has them too.
Fear, fear of the unknown, fear of not pleasing him the way I want to please him, and fear of not being able to let go the way I want to let go.
And well horny as fuck doesn't need an explanation does it...haha.

These butterflies that keep fluttering in my tummy do make me feel alive. They are actually causing other parts of my body to react also. I welcome those butterflies...and one day I will capture one and place it on my shoulder...to me it means beauty, freedom, and change.

I love the color of this one...and if I can, perhaps this is the one that will sit on my shoulder some day.

I still have some preparations to take care of...my body, my mind, and my soul. Not to mention a little bit of shopping and then, and then...

Soon I and Sir pepsi23, will be locked up in his hotel room getting to know each other and making each other very happy! Not today, not yet but soon my friends, very soon! I can hardly wait.
1 comment
Soon!!! But so not soon enough!!!
Posted:Feb 5, 2017 6:34 pm
Last Updated:Feb 22, 2017 2:56 am
1220 Views

I have been focusing on other things lately. Going to the gym on a regular basis now, still dealing with quitting cigarettes...the moods...and the ups and downs of this lifestyle.

My time is coming soon. I'm not saying when but I will probably post when I know he's landed. I still have certain fears and the nerves are definitely there. But he is always assuring me that I will be safe. I have all the necessary calls set in place...etc...etc...

My comfort level has changed a great deal. He's becoming more real as each day goes by. He makes me smile, makes me desire, makes me want...and those desires and wants will be fulfilled very soon.

I'm feeling a wee bit emotional right now and He knows why. It's only been a couple hours since I last talked to him and I already want to hear from him. I told him once that I missed him when we didn't talk, that I like his attention...submissive women need much more attention I was told. I agree, totally because I need more attention than any vanilla woman I know.

I told him I didn't feel that I should have to apologize for wanting his attention and in fact he should be pleased that I want his attention. He didn't want an apology...just for me to be the good lil submissive girl that I am!

Hope you all have a great week...and will post as time permits...
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