A story for you to decide
|
Posted:Jun 6, 2020 9:10 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2020 5:00 am 4375 Views
|
So there once was this girl who was totally in love with a guy in another country and made all kinds of plans to be with him. She started by selling her possessions slowly but surely so when the time arrived there wasn’t much left to get rid of. As she starts doing this, she is noticing behaviors from him that are now causing red flags. Then in comes this knight in shining armor to save her from this bad man who is actually seeing someone else and was making serious plans with her as well. This knight in shining armor woos her and eventually he won her over. Months pass and she makes plans to visit him excited to go to a faraway place and see what they could be. She goes with this optimistic view; mind you she really is a realist but she’s trying to be open minded. They make plans to spend time together while she is there. She discussed with him in depth her plans and he thought they were just perfect. The day comes, she is there in that faraway land and she lands gets to her first destination and no response from him of welcoming to the faraway land. She takes it he is busy with work being he couldn’t meet her at the airport, but she was ok with it because she had discussed it with him. They agreed he would go to her the next day and take her to lunch. That never happened only a message of can’t make it will try to come see you tomorrow. She was disappointed needless to say but still hopeful. That next day comes and goes and no him but another disappointing message of not going to make it. Day after day messages not calls of not going to make it. She sends him a message advising she needed to leave where she was, she could not stay any longer and she had secured dwellings if he would come and get her and take her to the new location that way, they could spend some time together, his response nope can’t get away. She has now seen a pattern, or maybe her eyes are starting to open as to he will never come. Her heart sinks even deeper than it already had. She cried herself to sleep every night. Her landlords in the Airbnb heard her every night and knew something was wrong. They took pity on her and tried comforting her. She reached out to friends back home to see if she could feel better. Friends back home either didn’t sense her need of comfort or were just oblivious except for two people. Both made her promise to come back home each for different reasons. She originally didn’t promise either she was in too dark of a hole to see anything but ending her life. She had nothing back home no family, home or job. The man she had come to see didn’t want to see her in her eyes he made every excuse why he couldn’t. The lady of the house must have sensed that this day was a really bad day for her because she followed her out the house. She didn’t even notice that she was being followed. She goes to the above ground platform and the express was coming and she was getting closer to the edge of the platform and the lady reached out and grabs her and holds her. Giving her a hug that a mother gives a letting them know everything will be ok because they are there. The next train comes, and they board, no words said between them. They sit in silence and this wonderful angel leads her on a train ride and brings her back home. Ushers her to her room leaves her there goes and comes back with hot tea and makes her drink it. Still no words pass between them, only tears from the girl. She helps her get out of shoes and clothes and wraps her in a towel takes her to the bathroom and puts the shower on warm water running puts her in it and leaves. The girl sits and cries until she can’t cry anymore and finally showers and steps out. She dries herself and walks to her room and puts on her pajamas. The wonderful woman comes back with hot food and makes the girl eat and tells her to rest everything will be better in the morning. The next morning, she wakes a hot breakfast waiting for her and no questions asked. Just pure honest love from a mother a that is not hers. The girl finally opens ad tells her story so far from the pain of childhood to her current situation. This woman listens intently periodically interjecting a question or two but lets the girl finish her story. She then tells the girl he isn’t worth a single tear. If he cared even an ounce he would had showed even if it was just five minutes. He has someone else or he just isn’t interested in her. The girl listens this motherly advice because this woman saved her life and she made sense. She finishes her breakfast and goes her room and her phone rings it’s her sister. Her sister must have sensed how much she needed hear her. Before the end of the call she promised her sister, she would come back home in one piece and they would spend time together. Shortly after she hung another call comes in and it’s a friend who has been just that a friend. He didn’t like that fact she went that faraway land felt someone should have gone with her. She told him what had happened, and he made her promise to come home alive and she did. He told her they would talk more serious when she got back.
She reaches back out to him to see if she could see him trying yet again. Despite what everyone is telling her she is of the belief of giving the benefit of the doubt. She actually talks to him and tells her he can’t because he has plans with his stepson and he can’t see her, and she knew the next day was a no because it was Father’s Day and he would be seeing his own father. Days pass and she calls him again and he tells her his father had a heart attack the day after Father’s Day and he’s far away. She offers to go to him, and he tells her she’s only going to be in the way, he won’t have time for her. She advises she just wants to be there as moral support and help when she can. He denies her again. His father passes unfortunately, and she waits for his call to see if she can accompany him to the funeral. That call never comes. The last week comes and goes and nothing from him. Not a sound. No text, no message, no phone call, nothing. She sends a message to him saying she was in the above ground heading to the airport and thanked him for giving her a lesson and wished him well, but his message was loud and clear. He did not want her. She left that faraway land hurt.
She gets home and not even disembarking the plane she has messages from her sister and her friend welcoming her home. She gets out of the plain and her phone rings and her friend is happy she is back, and they have now a lot to talk about. They talk every day, that friendship flourish and why not she is single. She came home single. weeks pass, and she gets a message saying “I had a heart attack and I’m having heart failure. I didn’t make it my father’s funeral. I read your message and knew we were done. But I thought you should know.” She tells him call her and when she hears his voice, she knows he is sick. He called her two days before his surgery; she didn’t know what do. She wished him well his surgery. He comes out of his surgery well. He has some complications and they have go back in. He’s in bad shape. His best friend was advise her of his conditions was not a good person. He finally came back and told her he died. She grieves hard. Her friend is there throughout all of this. Her friend even offers to send her to his funeral so she can respects. She declines because she doesn’t even know where she would go.
Time passes and she decides send a message the best friend asking where the death certificate was and her surprise the dead had risen. He apologized that his best friend lied, and he read that she moved . He wished her well. But like some bad omen or the cosmic universe had other plans, she was dumped. A huge misunderstanding but one that is obviously unrepairable. She tells him what has happen because despite they had been friends. He holds it against her she loved someone else. How could she? “Dumb arse” she told him “you fucking died and besides you didn’t want me. You made no attempt to be with me when I was there. On the contrary, you showed me that I wasn’t important and much less wanted by you. How do I know what you say is true? Everything is conveniently put on that so call best friend of yours. You treated me like shit, you wanted to control who I talked to, who my friends could be, what I wore, what I did, where I went, you didn’t want me to breath without your permission. You didn’t want a sub you wanted a slave. I am no slave to NO MAN!” She was infuriated by his how could she remark. Days past and he comes with his tail between his arse apologizing to her. But she is a kind soul and forgives him, but she can’t forget all the pain he did to her.
In her process of coming to terms with being dumped, she analyzes her relationship and it was doomed from the beginning. He took advantage of her weakened state and her need to be loved. The break was inevitable. She realizes she had been healing herself with every moment of red flag she had and the false promises. As she is going thru of this someone out of nowhere screams her, as if she has found her one. She looks and sees him but only in passing. Only days pass between them and they see each other in different rooms, and she speaks him. Behaving like a giddy girl so unbecoming of her. She never behaves like such over a man. Why is he different? She speaks a mutual friend they share and is encouraged reach out him. The mutual friends say they are a lot alike. Both very into protocol and rules. Girl hasn’t had someone like that in a very long time. Missing being in service in such a way she reaches out. She becomes his friend with his permission and sends a message. Very forward of her in this world but she’s never fit the standard box. She has always been different and will always be different. They speak and it is as if they have known each other a lifetime. The intensity they have she has never ever felt with anyone. She is advised that they are twin flames and after doing research she believes they are. She has to touch him feel him near have him need him want him in one breath. She craves him in her sleep. Her body yearns for him as if he has known every inch of her and yet he has never touched her. They talk every day and day when possible. She doesn’t see life without him. As she is discovering this bliss, dumb arse comes back and refuses see she has once again moved on without him. She buried him and that is where she has kept him. She has blocked him in various places and yet he still finds a way come back. His last correspondence is that once he is able fly, he will come knock her door and ask her mother for her hand in marriage. What he fails see is she herself will not accept his proposal. He wants her because no other woman wants him, he is invalid he needs a care giver help him. If he truly loved her, he would not want burden her with his quality of life he’s going need. He needs her now and wants her now because no other woman in this day and age is willing care for a man who isn’t worthy of care. How can he expect her care for him when he showed her how little he cared about her? She was almost homeless in that faraway land. She had borrow money get her location settle leave where she originally was staying because she could no longer stay there. She has told him she has found her one and is waiting for her one to see she is his one. She knows he feels she is but like her afraid to admit it. Both have been in bad situations, but they feel right. Something she never felt with him; She was never good enough or at least that’s he made her feel. Her one makes her feel him every day. She hears him daily when time permits. He needs her as much as she needs him. It truly is love. Honest to goodness love. She can be herself with him she can discuss everything and anything. He listens. He cares.
So, dumb arse in his desperate attempt to guilt her in being with him he becomes friends with her little sister and request to draw her. He claimed he only want to draw her nothing more, but she knows him well. She reminds her little sister who he is and what he has done to her and her little sister becomes upset. How could even try to come back into your life she says. She immediately tells him he cannot draw her because she didn’t get permission from her Sir. He then blames girl saying she put the boot deep in which she had nothing to do with the decision her little sister made. In his desperate attempt of trying to manipulate her, he throws himself down a flight of stairs. No, he didn’t kill himself although she thinks that was his intent. He severed his spinal cord, paralyzed from the waist down. Now, he is planning on killing himself by shooting himself. Another attempt on getting her to drop everything to be by his side. He even had the hospital he is in call her to advise of her of his condition putting her down as his fiancé. She informed the nurse to remove her she is not his fiancé nor even his friend. In his last attempt a message came through stating he will be ending his life once he is released from the hospital for her to expect a call or email from his solicitor with a plane ticket and funeral arrangements for her to attend. She doesn’t believe him because he has on many occasions said things and they never happen.
It’s funny every time she has moved on dumb arse finds a way to try and lure her back. She is wise to his game and tricks and knows how to handle him. Although others don’t believe she is strong, she truly knows how to show him that she is beyond his influence anymore. In his final attempt of manipulation, even in his so call death he wanted her to speak at his funeral. The only way girl could attend was for her to tell the gathers that he committed suicide because of her. Girl would never agree to such because she is not the reason if he truly did commit suicide. Since she has known him he has died now on more than one occasion so who is to believe he is dead now.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Vinyl Ending
|
Posted:Jun 4, 2019 11:57 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2020 5:04 am 5008 Views
|
The moment that I think will never happen is upon us. My wantonness is blazing and there is a knock on the door. You send me to answer so you can gain your composure. I walk and open and there in my disbelief is a beautiful woman who is demanding to be seen by you. You hear her voice and come rushing the on your tells everything I need to know. I bow my head and walk away. I leave you to discuss with her the importance of her visit. As I enter the room, I around shattered, hurt and betrayed. I take off the red vinyl dress and lay it on the bed. I pack my things quietly. Not a tear shed because when things are too good to be true, we should know the other shoe will fall eventually and for it did. I walk and you don’t even try to stop much less realize I have left. Did my presence mean so little to you? As I wonder aimlessly down the street with suitcase in hand, I am reminded that life is short, and we need to live life to the fullest. This isn’t my first visit to this place, and it won’t be my last. I will find my heart again.
Weeks pass and no word from you. I am starting to move on. I have made new friends and have blossomed more as a person and opened to more experiences. Just as I am cautiously making friends you decide to come back and toy with my emotions. You ask if I still love you. How should I respond the truth you tore my heart or the lie no I have moved on? You ask if we can still be friends? How can one be friends with the person who destroyed you? I make arrangement to meet a public place trying to keep the things on neutral ground, you obviously have a need to explain yourself after all this time. But there is no need to explain we have moved on one of us more than the other. You ask me of the vinyl dress, and I advise you I left it on the bed as I walked as a reminder of what you could have had but chose to destroy the person wearing that red vinyl dress. So thank you for making reevaluate myself and my needs and closing the door a little bit more on TRUST.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Vinyl continued
|
Posted:Apr 21, 2019 8:37 pm
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2019 3:52 pm 5346 Views
|
As I wait for door to open; standing in the vinyl dress waiting for your approval; standing with my eyes looking down patiently and still. The door opens and my heart starts to race. I blush knowing you are looking me over. From my toes to the tip of my hair I feel your eyes on me. I blush even more knowing I have pleased you. I feel you come closer and close the door. You reach for my chin and bring it up for me to look at you. I feel you move closer to me and bring me closer to you by holding my chin. I feel your lips gently touch mine. The kiss I have been waiting for all day, the one makes me weak and ready for more. The kiss lets me know all of my efforts are well received and appreciated. I close my eyes as you pull away replaying the sensations of the kiss in my mind instantly. You take my hand and walk me to the dining room; to the table I have set with dinner for us both. I sit and wait for you to sit at the head of the table. I pour the wine and serve you filet mignon with porcini mushroom compound butter. I watch you take the first bite and wait for your reaction. You smile and lets me know I did well, and you are pleased. I can’t eat, my nerves have gotten the best of me. I am awaiting the moment I am released from this dress and I become dessert. As I sit patiently picking at my food, you put your fork and knife down, get up, and tell me to wait there. I sit and wait patiently with my hands in my lap. You return, you take my hand, and walk me to the living room. Playing on the old Victrola is a Billie Holiday song and you pull me close and we begin to dance. Holding me nice and close I melt into you. The smell of your cologne has me intoxicated. Your touch on my skin has set me afire. Your breath on my skin has me wanton. I am walking in heaven at the moment from all of the feelings washing over me. I don’t know if I am coming or going; all I know in this moment and time is I am done. I have totally given you my heart; all is left to give is my body.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Vinyl
|
Posted:Apr 20, 2019 8:34 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2020 5:05 am 5559 Views
|
Searching web store after web store, combing thru numerous pictures of dresses, skirts, corsets and catsuits in vinyl. Searching for the right outfit, the right color, the right shape, the right length that will please him, make him smile the moment he sees me. I finally found it after countless hours of combing thru web pages. Oh, how I believe he will find this one perfect. I shower, shave all the important areas, wax the others, curl my hair, pinch both of my cheeks. I pull out the most beautiful pair of undies the same color of the vinyl, oh how I hope he likes these. No bra needed. I apply lotion on my skin to keep it soft and dab perfume in spots I know he loves. I slide on the red silk panties and then the red vinyl dress that I just know he will love. I good in red and he loves the way red looks on he has told so. I stand by the door all shiny and waiting for him to enter. Hair curled, 4-inch heels and red vinyl dress!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Why?
|
Posted:Apr 6, 2019 7:28 am
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2020 5:05 am 5193 Views
|
The first time our eyes meet I don’t know how I will be. You make me giddy with thought. You have no clue what you do to me. Why do you make it so difficult to express my feelings? In my head I know what I want to say but the words don’t come out of my mouth as they should. In my head they ae clear as day but my mouth can’t verbalize. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I? What have you done to me that I can’t? Is it that I am afraid you won’t understand or that I am just too afraid of your reaction? Or is it I know deep down you don’t feel the same and my reality is that I am alone in this feeling and you are afraid to break my heart and trying to break it to me gently. What am I to think when you give me so little to understand? Why does this feel so one sided? Why so many why’s and no real answers?
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Meeting someone for the first time thoughts.
|
Posted:Mar 25, 2019 8:35 pm
Last Updated:Jun 11, 2020 5:05 am 5528 Views
|
I have been longing to travel recently to see friends, family and new friends that I have made. Life is short and we have to take it by the horns. I imagine meeting my special someone in the city dressed in my most flattering dress with my beautiful collar that was sent for me to wear on this very special day. Walking down the street to meet at agreed upon location, smiling inwardly walking past strangers enjoying the wandering of the mind on the person I am about to meet. Despite I am meeting for the first time I know him; I know his mind and heart and I hope he knows mine. Feeling quite anxious and worried will he like what he sees in person? Will I live up to his expectations of me? Will he see that I am wearing his collar…I am excited as I touch it and walk to our meeting destination. The anxiousness is building along with my desire. I will probably make a fool of myself by blushing too much and talking excessively. Giddy like a school girl something I haven’t been in years. I will throw my arms around his neck hoping I am not being to forward but giving him one of those I am so happy you are here kind of kisses. All anxiety disappears and blushing begins. My eyes diverted down and my smile visible from ear to ear. My body speaking to him, my eyes shining with hope.
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
